


Dumb Stupid Boys Have Zero Braincells ((actual title in progress))

by Miksykat



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Post-Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 18:15:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21275567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miksykat/pseuds/Miksykat
Summary: Zim, after walking home alone at night and doing something that you should not do while being followed, gets turned into a vampire. shenanigans and possibly breakdowns ensue.





	Dumb Stupid Boys Have Zero Braincells ((actual title in progress))

**Author's Note:**

> what's up I don't know what I'm doing and I'm running on a sugar high take my barely edited story

Zim was walking home alone that night. What had started as GIR's regular walk had quickly turned into sitting in the new taco place, GIR practically inhaling everything he was presented with in the most disgusting way possible. Zim had originally been willing to put up with it, but as the hours ticked on and GIR continued to refuse to leave, his patience had worn understandably thin. He had gotten up and left, tossing a request to come back to base soon and not set anything important on fire over his shoulder. 

  


As Zim walked past an alleyway, a man exited behind him. At first, he thought nothing of it, but as he kept walking a sense of unease slowly creeped up on him. He could swear the man behind him was following him. Perhaps it was someone who had seen through his disguise? Someone who wished to rob him of all his superior technologies? If so, he couldn't afford to lead the strange man to his base.

  


When he came to an intersection that he would normally take a left on, he took a sharp right and sped up. The man turned as well, matching his speed and maintaining the exact same distance he'd been keeping before. Definitely being followed. 

  


Slightly panicked, Zim examined the man as best he could without alerting him. The man was shockingly pale, with a jacket hood pulled low over his face. Zim sped up again, and again the man behind him picked up the pace as well. Startled, Zim turned sharply down an alleyway in an attempt to lose his shadow. A bad idea, in hindsight.

  


Zim dodged and weaved through a dim maze of brick and concrete, the man behind him slowly catching up. When Zim started running, the first thing he encountered was a brick wall.

  


"Dead end." A voice said from behind him. Zim spun around to face it.

  


The man had pulled his hood down, revealing himself to be as pale as a corpse. He had short and dirty blonde hair, messy from the hood, and bright blood red eyes. However, Zim was far more focused on the sharp teeth that shined like daggers in the dim light. The man smiled, like a predator, like a threat.

  


"What a strange little creature," the man chuckled. "Pretending to be a human, so odd. No matter, you'll be a very filling dinner all the same." And then, he lunged.

  


The man sunk his sharp, horrible teeth into Zim's shoulder, far too sharp, far too quick. Zim tried to scream, to call for help, to curse the man for daring to bite the amazing Zim with his filthy dirt teeth, but a hand clamped over his mouth with a vice-like grip. In a flurry of panic and survival instinct, a pak leg shot out and skewered his attacker almost straight through the heart.

  


In shock, the man released Zim's shoulder. Then, he laughed. "Oh you foolish, foolish creature. You would have been far better off if you'd let me drain you dry!" His laughter grew more frantic, more strained. "Now you'll know the curse of the life I've led!" The laughter grew softer, more close to sobs. "I don't want to die..." The man whimpered, and then he crumbled into dust.

  


The pak leg retracted, and Zim shook. He was in far too much shock to know what was happening, he was far too afraid to hear what the man had said. Zim slid down the wall to seat himself on the cold and filty concrete. His body ached, his attention was scattered, and he didn't know what to do.

  


His shoulder throbbed, and suddenly everything _burned._ He opened his mouth to scream, but nothing came out. He clawed at the source of the terrible sensation, but that only seemed to make it worse. Silent tears slid down his face, his mouth open and gasping as though air was in short supply. 

  


And then everything went black.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't lead people who are following you to your home, but also Don't go where people can't see you. call a friend on the phone and tell them what's happening ((don't hang up until you're safe)) and/or go to a public place with other people, like a starbucks or something, and ask someone to call the police. don't be stupid like zim. this has been a psa


End file.
